I wanted to be creative today…

Instead I did absolutely nothing

Well not entirely nothing I played video games and ran around doing nefarious errands and

Thoughts about miscellaneous concepts such as I wonder what it would be like if both of my parents were in my life at this moment in time.

Millions of ideas race across my mind

Many of them involve self destruction and lack of belief in myself.

My anxiety pushes me to create but my anxiety also takes the creation away.

I wanted

To write stories instead I was occupied by the cataclysm inside my brain,

Wishing and whirling with crimson clouds spiraling and magenta lighting spurning out of my membrane I suffocate in a never ending thought process as time slows outside time nearly stops inside

I wanted to create. Instead I drove my car to escape diving into the darkness that beacons my every call.

Millions of dreams and ideas waiting to be fleshed our.

Yet fear and lack of confidence continue to formulate right around my chest pouch.

I wanted to be creative today…

instead I played video games.

Escaping the magical wonderful world ive created inside my loving brain.