Being a young person who’s out of school with two degrees and suffering from anxiety. On top of that, seeking employment and struggling to get off the ground running, I find myself for most of my days wallowing in slight depressive episodes just wishing for an opportunity to arise. Most of the time I'm feeling pressure to make something happen immediately, often trying to rush the process, constantly looking on social media for gratification. The feeling makes me sink into the deep abysses I call the trenches of my mind. What I find in there no man should ever be designed to see. These are dark places, However, they don’t define me and whenever Igo there I always bring a flashlight to lighten up the depths that my mind carries. No matter how dark it gets I’m constantly reminding myself of how far I’ve come.
For me, this is important because in this transitioning phase in life there will be tests of my psyche That will tear me down with consistency ad pure fervor. To add on, my anxiety can be an anvil that drags me down as well. But there are tools I use to keep me afloat. without these, I’d go insane.
One day I was so down in the depths I thought I was actually drowning. The despair ha me in such a funk I was convinced I couldn’t breathe.
However, when I’m in those dark feels I usually take a second. look at the setting around me and find my muse. Something to soothe me for the moment and ground me before I sink further. for me, These muses are writing or playing sports or video games. They are techniques that allow me to channel m pain, frustration, doubt into something positive. From there I am able to take a step back and realize how far I’ve come. and relax realizing that the sun for me is just rising, not setting. That my opportunity will come and I will rise with it.
To anyone reading this story, I hope you have a muse, something to be a reef to those times you sink into your depths. These aren’t permanent fixes, therapy is recommended by me. But, they can be temporary forevers that lift you from that darkness and give you just enough to make it through the moment youre in. remind yourself daily that you have it. That the right path is meant for you through your muse. And watch the dark abysses turn into new depths to explore and take from.